It’s absolutely baffling that there is so much negativity in the world around us.  I read an article the other day about how to make yourself feel happier during unhappy times. I posted it to LinkedIn but felt like I needed to expand on it a bit here.

Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.  I am a firm believer that having a positive attitude feeds on itself and helps create more positivity and happiness.  If you surround yourself with people who hover over your happiness like a grey cloud ready to burst, do something to change it.  You may not have control over the situation that you find yourself in right at this very moment, but you do have the power to change it going forward.

Instead of getting upset about the rain, put up an umbrella and run, don’t walk, to someplace where it’s not raining.  If that means getting away from people who are bringing you down, then so be it.  If all they want to do is bring you down, then they probably aren't your friends anyway and the best thing you can do is find some sunshine.

I remember getting a good chuckle out of the seemingly annual Peanuts comic strip that showed Snoopy on top of his doghouse in front of a typewriter trying to write a spooky story and it ALWAYS started with “It was a dark and stormy night...”  I thought at the time that it was kind of corny, but looking back now I realize that it’s a great way to start a good story.  By setting the scene so quickly and vividly, he could immediately draw in nearly any reader since just about everyone has experienced a dark, stormy night.

Now, if I was using this to start writing a story, I think I would probably cut it out of the piece once the story was complete and re-write the beginning with a slightly different set-up.  Still, I think it’s a great place to start, especially with Halloween right around the corner.



**SHORT NOTE: I had wanted to use an image of Snoopy with this post, however my emails to folks with the Peanuts website went unanswered so in the interest of keeping in line with copyright laws, I decided not to use an image of the Snoopy character but found a free use image of s cute little black and white dog to use instead.**

I am pretty sure that I have written before about shifting perspectives and how I look at things in different ways as I age, but I ask that you indulge me with that topic once again.

I have written earlier this week on several topics that are difficult to nail down in terms of a specific definition.  Beauty, love, heroism, and leadership are all things that we think we know about, but when asked to define them, the answer is more often than not that we will “know them when we see them.”  I looked back at my own experiences in life and realized that I would have defined all of these things much differently 10 or 15 years ago than I do today and I owe that entirely to the things that I have seen and done.

Long ago I would have listed physical attributes as the only thing that could denote beauty, but I know now that inner beauty is so much better.

My thoughts on love haven’t changed too much over time, but have only strengthened.  I am able to understand that I love more things and why I love them that I may have when I was younger.

My heroes are certainly different today than they were in high school or even college and I understand today much more clearly what it truly means to be a hero.

Finally, leadership has probably changed the most in my mind.  As I wrote yesterday, leadership had long been about position in an organizational structure until my eyes were opened by leaders like John Maxwell.  I now understand that leadership is much more than just being a “manager” or “supervisor” of people and that one can lead from any position.

As you can see, my own personal thoughts about these different concepts have changed over the past several years.  I urge you to think about what you have experienced that has led to changes in your thinking over time.

As I was hunting for something to write about this evening, I wanted to take a little bit of a departure from the happy go lucky topics I've been covering this week but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  So the topic of the day is Leadership.

If you had asked me three years ago what my definition of Leadership was, I would have given a much different answer than I would today.  I owe much of this change in perspective to the chance to attend the first of three leadership conferences.  Little did I know the morning that I walked into the event that my life was about the change for the better and I was going to start thinking about things in my life in a FAR different way.

I've mentioned once or twice that the people who speak at the Chik-fil-A Leadercast each year are some of the best and brightest minds in business, sports, entertainment, and academia.  They are all widely considered to be strong leaders in their fields and I feel like they genuinely want to help others to succeed as they have been able to succeed in life.  From John Maxwell to Tim Tebow, from Condoleezza Rice to Coach K, the list of notable personalities goes on and on.

Three years ago I sat and tried to absorb as much from the speakers as I possibly could, furiously taking notes along the way.  The second time around I similarly took notes, but also tried to listen to everything that the speakers were saying.  I made it a priority to sit down at my computer within the week following that second conference and type up synopses of each speaker based on my notes so that I could flesh out the ideas while they were still fresh in my head.  I still look back on these notes on a regular basis today and continue to gain inspiration from them.  I did the same after the conference earlier this year and hope that I am able to attend the conference next year as well.  I strongly urge you to work with your employer, school, church group, etc. to set up a satellite viewing of this event.

But what did this conference really do for my concept of leadership?

Before I attended this conference, I was actually in a management position at my job and had been for almost four years, but I thought that was enough to make me a leader.  Now I know how wrong I was.

In the years since going to that first conference (2011) I have come to understand that true leadership can be performed at any level of an organization and getting a promotion to management doesn't immediately make you a good leader.  As John Maxwell has written about time and time again, true leadership is the act of making others better.  It is service to others; service that will enrich the lives of the people around us and lifting everyone up to be able to achieve more and better things.

Think about the people in your life that you would call leaders.  Perhaps it is a coach on your high school sports team or a pastor at church.  These are likely two very different types of people and two very different types of leaders, but both can get the job done and help those around them.  Managers at work can be leaders based on their position, but true leaders should be striving to bring everyone else up to and even beyond their own level.

Take a look at your own thoughts on leaders and leadership.  If you think like I did several years ago, I recommend seeking out some established leaders in your community or picking up some books by well known authors on the subject (John Maxwell, Andy Stanley, Jack Welch just to name a few) and read through some of their thoughts.  You’ll be glad you did.  More importantly, the people around you that benefit from your leadership will be glad too.

Today marks six years since I first became a father.  I look back on the time that has passed and realize how much I have grown and I am truly amazed.  If I was able to go back in time and speak with myself exactly six year ago today, I’m not sure what I would say.  I remember having such excitement and happiness when I received the call from my wife that we were going to have our baby.  I was also scared because he was premature and I didn't know what that meant.

Knowing what I know now, would I tell my former self to cherish every moment with Jackson because there wouldn't be many of them?  I don’t know.  The overriding feeling that I had during the month that he was with us was one of hope.  If someone had come to me on the day he was born and said he would only live a month, I worry that my whole outlook would have been different.  I wouldn't have loved him any less.  Neither would it be possible for me to have loved him any more than I do to this day.

Knowing that I had a limited amount of time with Jackson certainly would have prompted me to make different decisions regarding returning to work while he was still in the hospital.  I think that will be something that I will forever regret, that I “wasted” some of the time that I could have been with him.  Hindsight is always 20/20 (or better) and this is no exception.

I would hate to have had any knowledge of things that would happen in the future with Jackson that would have diminished the hope that I had for him to make a full recovery every day of his life.  The hope is what carried me through each day and even after he was gone, it was hope for brighter days that carried me through the dark days after his passing.  I hoped for another chance to have a little boy or girl in my arms and I was able to see that hope fulfilled.

October 25th and November 26th have become two of the hardest days of the year for my family and me, but we come together as one and draw strength from each other.  I encourage you to do the same if you have experience a similar loss.  Don’t shy away from the loss, but celebrate the person who was and is with you in your heart.  They may be gone from your life, but their memory can live on forever if you make a point to think about them every day.  Tell people about them and what they did, the way they smiled and the stories that they loved.  These are all ways in which you can keep that memory alive, not just for yourself, but for anyone you tell.

Much has been said about people who are heroes in our society.  We have an entire sub-genre of film and books that focus on “superheroes”, most of whom have some sort of supernatural ability or mutation which grants them “hero” status.  Sports figures are often referred to as heroes as well and people for our children to look up to as achieving the highest possible placement in their field through hard work and dedication.  Unfortunately it seems that all too often those sports stars have cheated their way to the top.  Granted this is probably the minority, but it often seems to be the predominant talk in the media when these people are accused of cheating.

So who are the real heroes?

I wrote last week about Scott Carpenter passing away.  I count him among my heroes along with all the other pioneers in space flight.  The things that those men and women have done (and continue to do) in the face of extreme danger is astounding and I admire them greatly for it.

Along similar lines, the men and women of our American armed forces should be considered heroes.  One of my few favorite television shows of the last few years focused on soldiers and sailors returning home to their families (Coming Home) and the stories of their service and love for their families were incredible.  The children of these great people look up to them so much and it is clear how much they consider their parent a hero.  We should consider ourselves lucky that these heroes serve our country and give up so much valuable time with their families to do so.

When it comes to service, our first responders deserve and enormous pat on the back and a huge thank you from all of us.  We may balk when the police officer pulls us over for speeding, but we should be thankful that they are there, looking out for the well being of all of us.  Fire fighters have a thankless job and along with ambulance crews, save many lives all over our country and the world on a daily basis.  They may say that they are “just doing their job” but we all should be thankful that these heroes are around to help us in our time of need.

Last I come to family.  I personally have many heroes within my own family.  My loving wife Denise is a huge inspiration to me and I often look to her for strength to make it through the day.  She never falters in being there to provide that strength and for that, she is my hero.

My parents and siblings are heroes too, always being there for me when I need them and helping in any way they can.  Never has a time passed that I needed something from them and they have been absent.

Lastly, we come to possibly the three biggest heroes in my life, my children.  I’ve written before about what an inspiration and influence my children are on me, but I feel like I have to reiterate it here.  My first born, Jackson, was only with us for one short month, but in that time I saw spunk and attitude that I don’t think even I myself possess.  He may not be here for me to hold any longer, but I hold him in my heart and think about him every day, using his memory to help push me through the hard times and that is why he is my hero.

Jackson’s little brother Joshua is everything that I imagined Jackson himself to be as he grew.  He’s my little Dallas Cowboys fan (we cheer even if they’re not necessarily heroes) and is sharp as a tack.  His passion about everything he does inspires me and is one of the many reasons that he is my hero.

Finally, the little princess of the bunch, Teagan.  She has just as much spunk as Jackson and is just as smart as Joshua.  She absolutely adores Joshua and looks up to him with such love and affection.  She cares for her stuffed animals and her precious “binky” like a doting mother should and I know she is going to make a great mommy someday.  That is why she is my hero.

All of my children inspire me so much and they bring so much meaning to my life on a daily basis.  Find your heroes and hold them close.  Make sure they are deserving of the title, and if you haven’t before, take the time to tell them so.  You’ll find that they might be surprised when you tell them.

So this week I’m continuing to muse on seemingly ephemeral things.  Yesterday I wrote a bit about beauty and today I decided to continue with love.

One of the things that always comes to mind when I think of love is the classic LOVE stamps that US Postal Service puts out every year.  I’m sure they are extra popular around Valentine’s Day time, but some of the designs that they have had over the years have been very beautiful.

What is love though?  Like beauty, it’s something that most people can’t really define, but they just know it when they see it.

I know that I love my family and my health most of all.  Even with all of the turmoil that seems to surround us every day in this world, I love the fact that there are so many diverse people and ideas to explore.  I love being able to wake up every morning and know that I have people around me that will love me back and challenge me in interesting ways.

What do you love?

I was pondering the idea of beauty the other day.  Something that came to mind was how diametrically opposing viewpoints could be held about the same subject.  Take a painting for an example.  We have all seen paintings that are simple a giant canvas filled with one color or another.  It’s so simple that anyone of any age and ability would be able to duplicate it, but only when it’s hanging in an art gallery amongst other masterpieces is it truly considered “art.”

But is it beautiful.  Depending on your upbringing, your mood, if you’re wearing sunglasses or not, you may or may not think of a red canvas as beautiful or even as art.  There are plenty of people in this world who would though.

So what defines beauty?

The famous saying is that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  I had to agree.

Find something that you consider beautiful today and cherish it.  Extra special bonus points if it’s something or someone what no one else seems to find any beauty in.  Don’t let anyone else sway you from your opinion and hold onto that beautiful thing.

I haven't mentioned this in a while, but over the course of the last few weeks, this website has gone over 20,000 hits in about a year and a half.  Thank you to everyone who continues to visit and hopefully enjoys my random ramblings.

Yesterday I posted a link to an amazing video of a young man playing the piano while not being able to see what he was playing.  If you haven’t had a chance to watch it yet, stop now and go here!

But to keep with the theme of the piano and music, I thought I would touch on my recently new found love of playing the piano by way of a little story.

I started playing piano over 27 years ago at the age of four.  The impetus for me learning the piano was that I told my parents that I wanted to play the drums after seeing the drums in a marching band at a local parade.  They insisted that I learn the piano first and then move onto drums later.  I objected and didn't quite understand the logic, but went along with it so that I could get to my drums.